Sunday, April 5, 2020

I will rejoice...?

I never think it's a coincidence when the same passage of Scripture ends up showing up in multiple places in a short period of time.

And in the past two weeks, Habakkuk 3 has come up.

Habakkuk? When is the last time I read or heard anything about Habakkuk?

It came up in a sermon, and it was also a reading section in my devotional book the same week.

Habakkuk 3:17-18 says, "Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit re on the vines,  the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I still take joy in the God of my salvation." (ESV)

We were watching a podcast yesterday that says we should be grateful during this pandemic that it is waking us up from a 75- to 100-year nap when nothing bad happened in our country. Yes, bad things have happened, but really, we've had it rather easy for the most part, especially during the current lifetime.

We should be thankful because this trouble shows our weak spots, helps us see reality that we need to prepare for in the future, shows us the strength of our leaders, and our own strength.

I go even further to say thank you for a time like this to wake us up to see where we really stand with God. Do we trust him only when things are easy? Do we rejoice and find joy only when things are simple and going our way? Or do we rejoice when the stalls and fields are empty and disease is on our doorstep?

I have to say that I want to rejoice, and I want to tell God that I will rejoice no matter what. It makes me nervous to commit to that --- I mean, bad things are in our country, but they haven't come for me or my family. What if they do? What if I say I'll rejoice and then God tests that commitment?

I pray that I still will. I pray that Habakkuk will remind me that no matter what, I will take joy in the God of my salvation and will rejoice in him alone, not my circumstances.

Saturday, April 4, 2020

God will reveal my faults if I ask for it

I was scrolling through Facebook one morning, when I saw a post from a woman that she has been asking God to reveal her faults, to clean her heart.

She wrote, "When he reveals things to you that shouldn't be there, repent and experience transformational growth."

I prayed a quick prayer. I want that. I want God to show me where my faults are so that they can be fixed.

I would have to say, it was about a half hour later, and I forgot all about that quick prayer, that I received a complaint from someone about something I did. I was quite shocked at the complaint to be honest, and I didn't really think I did anything wrong. I fixed it quick, but I still couldn't get my mind off of it.

Was what I did wrong? Why did someone complain? Was it that big of a deal?

I came to the conclusion that what I did wasn't necessarily wrong. I did it at a time that I shouldn't have, and I considered that before I did it, but I didn't think that was a big deal. So, yes, that was wrong. But it seemed like someone blew it out of proportion and read into something that I certainly didn't mean.

However, I still felt off. I still couldn't shake a guilty feeling.

I was laying in bed that night, still thinking about it. When the word "pride" came into my brain. My pride at thinking that I was perfect in that situation, and no one should have complaints about me.

It was with that thought that the guilty feeling went away, and it was right then that I remembered the prayer that I prayed that morning.

So I repented of pride that I hold in many areas of my life, and I realized that if I prayed for correction and prayed that the bad would be revealed in my life, that wasn't going to feel good. However, I should thank God that he listened and that he listens.

I keep thinking about that as I get ready to parent a little one. My heart is still so messed up. I'm still so sinful. How am I equipped to show another person that her heart is also messed up and sinful? How am I to provide a good example? How can I teach her lessons that I am still learning myself every day?

I'm thankful for God's grace. I'm thankful that he doesn't expect me to be perfect, or to be a perfect parent, but that he does continue to parent me and give me grace every day.

It doesn't feel good, but may he continue to show me areas where I fall short. May each day be a learning lesson for not only myself but also for my husband and I to reveal brokenness in the life of our child so that she too can experience God's grace and grow.