Almost one year!

A year ago we had company starting to come in town as our wedding day approached.

It was those last hours, and everything was done. It was just a waiting game until I finished one more day of work and looked forward to the best day of my life so far.

I'm glad that day is over. It was wonderful and perfect, but I have enjoyed being married too much to want to go back to a time that we weren't.

As we come upon our one-year anniversary I see yet again what a wonderful man that I have married. I had to brag a little bit the last couple days as I found a couple of surprises he had for me.

First, he revealed that he had a whole weekend planned for us — staying in the hotel we stayed at when we got engaged, going to horse races for the first time, which is something I have dreamed of doing for years, and he had even packed my bag for me. Then he wasn't sure I had everything I needed so he told me.

Then today, he went to pick up a free file cabinet I found posted online, and he came back daisies he picked while he was away. He probably would be embarrassed that I'm writing about all this, but I just feel so blessed to have him. It has put me over-the-moon happy just like I was last year at this time.

If Jack were here, I would share it with him, and I think he would tell Nate it's a job well done.

I think we're well on our way to being one of those couples like the one in yesterday's video.

I love you honey!

Dare you not to cry

This reminded my husband of Jack.


It's videos like these and lives like Jack's that remind me to prioritize. Why do we spend so much time online, looking at other people's lives on Facebook while the people we love are being ignored nearby. Life is so beautiful and we only have one chance. Put God first and your family second. Choose to be present and make memories in those little moments. Take a step back to a slower time and enjoy your family.

Remembering Jack

The world lost a beautiful spirit today as my e-mail pal Jack passed away.

I met him right after I started work, doing an interview with him about how he used to run a small-town grocery store that did house-to-house delivery.

When I was there, he mentioned that his wife was in a nursing home and he was lonely. I gave him my card and said to e-mail me if he ever wanted to just chat.

That turned into a beautiful, four-year friendship. We started out e-mailing a couple of times a day. Lately it had been once a week, but that is more than I talk to some of my closest friends that are my age.

We talked about his wife and her eventual passing, his life growing up, his life in the Navy, his life now. I talked about my trips, my work, my marriage. He grumbled about his health and aging and I grumbled about the predicaments in my life.

We visited in person a couple of times, and he always sent me home with candy even though he couldn't eat it himself because he couldn't eat much sugar.

It was a chance encounter, and I am so glad that I handed him my card.

So many elderly people are overlooked because they aren't in the throws of society. However, they have so much wisdom to impart. Jack encouraged me to put my husband first and to give, even when it's not noticed. He said that he did little things his wife probably didn't notice, and he is sure she did the same. They had a long and happy marriage, what more can you ask for?

Jack made cards for people on his computer. He always told me that he felt silly giving them away, but he had no idea how those little pieces of thoughtfulness touched people. I still have my wedding card and birthday card. Then today, I received a first anniversary card from him and smiled at it. It was just a minute later I checked the messages on my phone and found a voicemail from his daughter-in-law saying he had died.

Nate pulled me into a hug. And then I smiled, because I realized that as a Christian and lover of God he is now dancing in heaven with his wife in his arms. How beautiful when you know that kind of reunion happens for those who trust in Jesus.

Jack was so selfless, even making me an anniversary card when he e-mailed me that he wasn't feeling well and was going in for tests.

All I can say is, what a beautiful man. I am so blessed to have called him my friend, and I told him that many times. My prayers go out to his family, and yet my heart rejoices as I know that he and his wife are happy together in heaven.

I won't ever forget him.

A reminder to appreciate

It's weird when different parts of your start to line up, making it obvious that God is in control and wants you to learn something.

Recently, it's been the story of Jesus' crucifixion that keeps popping up. My pastor is preaching on that section of John in church; Nate and my Bible reading at home is in that section of Matthew right now. It doesn't seem like that would line up unless God wanted it to.

I've read the story and heard it hundreds of times before, growing up in church. However, lately I have heard a lot more details about it. For instance the cat-o-nine tails that was full of shards of glass and hooks that would pull off the skin and sometimes even the ribs of the people being whipped with it.

I have to be honest, I got queasy this Sunday when the pastor talked about what suffering Jesus went through. In fact right now I realize I unconsciously had a look of detest and disgust on my face as I even think back on it.

When it came time to read the chapter about Jesus' crucifixion again in Matthew last night, I wanted to skip it. It's horrible, and I don't want to keep reliving that part of Jesus' life. Can't I just focus on the good and the happy?

But no, it's important that we meditate on this part of Scripture. The greatest gift we receive, salvation, only came through the most heinous crime in history committed against a completely innocent man. If we don't know what Jesus went through, how can we be appreciative.

It reminds me a little bit of police officers. This might be a stretch, but stick with me. We don't often hear all that police officers go through. We know they pull people over for speeding and arrest drunks. However, we don't hear about the fights that are everyday occurrences, the scrapes and bruises, being at gun point while trying to protect those asleep in the next house.

When people hear stories about some dangerous situation a police officer encounters, they often express gratitude and appreciation. If they really knew all that a law enforcement officer was going through day in and day out, they probably would express it more often.

When we think about all Jesus went through, it gives us a reminder to express appreciation. Thank you Jesus for dying for us, and thank you for rising again to conquer death. Help us to remember each day what you did, and why you did it.

Ganglion cyst

A couple of months ago I noticed a lump on my wrist when I bent it.

I thought one of my wrist bones was out of place, but when I went to the chiropractor he diagnosed it as a ganglion cyst.

It's basically a fluid-filled pack that lives in between my wrist bones. There's no real reason for them and there's nothing you can do about it except take it out with surgery. They called the Bible-thumping cysts because they used to hit them with a big book to pop them. However, now they know that can cause a lot of damage and it also can refill again.

I went to the doctor today and told her about my cyst, and she recommended I go see a hand surgeon to get it checked out and probably get it removed.

She noted that they can grow and eat away at the bone around them and they can also reduce feeling and movement in the hand if left alone.

That all sounds bad, but it makes me not want to spend the money on getting it taken out. Sure insurance will cover part of it, but I hate to spend Nate's hard-earned money on getting out something that doesn't have to be taken out.

I guess I'll just go to the doctor and see what he says. Maybe it will be nothing. Maybe it will be worse than I think!

On the old rugged cross

Our pastor taught yesterday on the crucifixion of Jesus.

At first it sounds odd --- usually churches on teach on that section of the Gospels around Easter time. But really, how terrible is that? We only talk about the greatest gift given to us once per year?

I think what hit me the most was when he said that on the cross, Jesus became the most vile human being ever to set foot on Earth. He became worse than even Hitler. He became not only a mass murderer but a pedophile, a pornographer, a liar, a homosexual, a complaining wife, a shoplifter, a husband with a wandering eye. He became so horrible that God the Father turned his back.

I knew that Jesus died for our sin, but I never thought about him actually taking it on, becoming it, feeling the guilt and the shame of every wrong thing to ever happen before or in the future. Think of how guilty you feel when you yell at your kids or talk behind a friend's back. You feel bad and you have sinned plenty before. Think about how terrible Jesus, who had never felt the guilt or shame of sin, felt at that moment.

And yet, he wasn't thinking about himself or how bad he felt. He asked John to take care of his mother. He didn't give up and take himself down off the cross. He loves us so much that he was willing to go through whatever it took to make us clean.

I just wish that everyone could know the beauty of Jesus' forgiveness. He already died for them, if only people knew that all they had to do was accept what he did and be fully cleaned of all their filth.

I just want to leave off with the words of a song that really remind us what Jesus did:

"On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross,
The emblem of suffering and shame;
And I love that old cross where the dearest and best
For a world of lost sinners was slain.

"So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross,
Till my trophies at last I lay down;
I will cling to the old rugged cross,
And exchange it some day for a crown.

"O that old rugged cross, so despised by the world,
Has a wondrous attraction for me;
For the dear Lamb of God left his glory above
To bear it to dark Calvary.

"So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross,
Till my trophies at last I lay down;
I will cling to the old rugged cross,
And exchange it some day for a crown.

"In that old rugged cross, stained with blood so divine,
A wondrous beauty I see,
For ’twas on that old cross Jesus suffered and died,
To pardon and sanctify me.

"So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross,
Till my trophies at last I lay down;
I will cling to the old rugged cross,
And exchange it some day for a crown.

"To the old rugged cross I will ever be true;
Its shame and reproach gladly bear;
Then he’ll call me some day to my home far away,
Where his glory forever I’ll share."

Words from "The Old Rugged Cross."

My first dog: Princess Diana, 1998-2013

Princess Diana
May 7, 1998-Aug. 15, 2013

Princess Diana, best known as Priny (or Prinny, depending on who is writing it), passed away peacefully in her sleep last night at the age of 15.

We got Princess when I was 10 years old. When we brought home the little puppy that could curl up on my lap, my brother asked "Who's dog is that?"

"It's ours."

"Don't joke with me. Who's dog is that?"

"It's ours!"

We had waited a long time to get a dog, and we had tried a couple before Princess. A dog at the pound named Muffy was perfect, but she hated my dad the instant he walked in. We got an old dog named Ginger, but she wasn't house trained, and at 10 years old, that wasn't going to happen.

So little baby Princess was perfect. She was a mutt --- some kind of a miniature pinscher, weiner dog, terrier mix.

We wanted to give her a middle name, especially since we didn't like her given name of Princess. We considered Leia, but since Princess Diana had died just before we got Priny we decided to christen her Princess Diana.

I remember we used to have a potato chip box in the car with a blanket where she would sleep on road trips. She loved to chase her tail so much that it permanently curled on the top, because she could actually catch it and would hold onto it. She started out sleeping in my bed, and she would always curl up in the crook of my legs with her head on my knees. Even when she started sleeping on the floor of my parents' room she would still lay like that with me when we watched TV on the living room floor.

She had a variety of stuffed animals, which all became "bunnies," because that's what her first one was and what she knew them as. We had to buy ones without fur because she would lick the fuzz and then continue licking her tongue for hours on end.

She loved dog cookies and demanded them whenever she went inside from outside, even if she hadn't done her business.

She knew exactly when it was 4 p.m. --- dinner time --- and would bark nearly on the stroke of the hour. She used to look out the window and expect us to be walking home from the bus right when we got done with school. Even when we went to college or moved away, Mom would say "Kiley's coming home." Princess would sit on the living room stairs and watch out the window in the front door until I came.

She loved to be scratched behind her ears, and when she was a baby I could put her to sleep that way. She also loved to be scratched on her belly and would roll over and wait for you to answer her plea.

She was the perfect dog for a family. She was small, quiet and lovable. She followed my Mom around during the day, asking for a piece of peanut butter and jelly toast every time Mom had it. She would lay by Mom while she did her devotions each afternoon in her bedroom. I tried to hold Priny when I cried, but she didn't really like that.

She was 15 years old. Toward the end she was going blind and could barely hear, but when I'd visit she would perk those little ears up and trot toward me with a happy look in her eyes, unless Novie was around. Novie didn't understand that I loved Priny first.

That dog will always hold a dear place in my heart. I may have a new dog now, and Priny may have become a little mangy in her old age, but she was perfect. She was sweet and loving, and what more can you ask of a dog?

Rest in peace Princess Diana. I'm sad that we've lost you, but I'm glad that you're out of pain. Always know, I love you!