God still reigns

 I wake up and watch the news, and it gives me a pit in my stomach.

As a Christian, it seems like the world is steadily coming for us, and it makes me scared for the future. So, I keep reminding myself that God is still in charge. When Nero was burning Christians as lights for his garden parties, God still reigned. When John was boiled alive for spreading the gospel, God still reigned. When Christians were tortured in Romanian prisons under Communist rule, God still reigned.

When Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were thrown into the fiery furnace for following God under Nebuchadnezzar's rule, God still reigned. When Daniel faced the lion's den after continuing to pray even when commanded not to pray to anyone but Nebuchadnezzar, God reigned. I read a portion of Daniel 4 today, and it gave me hope that even in a world that is swirling out of control, we still need to pray for our leaders, because God can turn anyone's heart around. Did you know that Nebuchadnezzar actually ended up praising God?

"Now, I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the king of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble." Daniel 4:9

"Those who walk in pride he is able to humble." That person you might think is too far gone to be saved, isn't. One of the worst kings in history eventually came to Christ, so why can't the politicians that we think are too far gone also be brought to repentance?

Lord, I ask for mercy on this country. Please don't give us what we deserve, because we deserve your wrath. We deserve to be taken down for the horrible path that we are on. However, you can redeem us. You can redeem your people. You can redeem this nation.

Someday, Jesus will come back. He will bring down a just wrath on this earth and all the evil and wrong done here, and all who have not accepted his gift of grace and accepted him as their savior will be brought to justice. Those who believe in his name will be saved from our just punishments. But until that time, continue to hope, dear Christians. God isn't slow to bring about his promises, he is just waiting to save as many people as he can, as many Nebuchadnezzars as he can.

"But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." 2 Peter 3: 8-9

I just need to try harder...

I can't escape from the fact that every time God is trying to teach me something, I see reminders of it everywhere.

In church, the pastor talked about how God is not satisfied leaving us where we are. He will forever continue to work on us.

"The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands." (Psalm 138:8)

He also did a series on the fruits of the Spirit that reminded me that love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and self-control are not traits that I can manifest but are traits that the Holy Spirit working in me manifests. 

So it's not a coincidence that after writing about this in my prayer journal that today's devotion talked about letting God do his work in us that we can't do for ourselves and quoted Philippians 1:6, "...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Or that I followed that devotion by reading a chapter in my book about apologetics that refuted the philosophy of self-helpism, the theory that we can change ourselves if we just put our minds to it, when in reality we can work hard but can't change who we really are --- sinful --- without God's grace and work in us.

OK, God. I get it.

I need to stop thinking that I can do better if I only work harder, concentrate more, am more self-disciplined. It's only taken 32 years of failure in that aspect for me to realize that I can press on for more, but only God's grace in my life can actually accomplish anything.

Maybe 2020 wasn't as bad as we think

 As 2020 comes to a close, I've seen a lot of posts about "P*** off 2020" or "What a horrible year..."

My parents were talking about that the other day, and my mom recounted their conversation to me. She said that she told my dad what an awful year this had been for our family, with only two of the nine of us not having medical issues that put us in the hospital.

But my dad said, "It wasn't a horrible year, it was a wonderful year."

That's because, despite our baby's heartrate dropping during labor and having to be born via C-section, during which one of my arteries was cut and I hemorrhaged blood almost to the point of a transfusion, we were both fine.

Despite my brother's entire family getting in a terrible car accident and flipping their vehicle, they were fine.

Despite my dad suffering from kidney stones and cutting his hand and needing stitches, he was fine.

In all honesty, we could have lost six of the nine of us this year, very easily. Had just a few things been different, six of us could have died. It's not unheard of. You see tragedies like that in the news all the time, that a mom loses her entire family just before Christmas or a wife's husband and children die in a wreck.

But that didn't happen to us. Thank you God that our family is still intact, that we're in generally good health, although some are still recuperating from injuries.

It really is all in the way that you look at it.

Yes, this year has been crazy, but even that craziness has brought in good. We've been stuck at home, but that means that I've had so much time to be able to spend with our daughter and bond with her. I quit my job, but it worked out perfectly because we had to move for my husband's new job anyway. We left behind many good friends in our move, but we've been able to see our family at least once every two weeks, when it used to be months in between visits.

2020 has been a memorable year, but when we look back at the good that has come from what could be deemed "worthless" and "horrible" and just tossed aside, we'd be losing a lot of good memories, a lot of reasons to be thankful.

So, thank you Lord for 2020. Thank you for the lessons. Thank you for bringing us through.

And if 2021 is the same or "worse," let us not wish time away but make the most of what You have given us. As Jeremy Camp's new song says, "Let me live with my eyes wide open. 'Cause I don't want to miss what you have for me."

Stop pushing against God

 Our daughter was fussing in church, and she was giving definite signs that she was hungry so I got up to take her into the bathroom to nurse her and quiet her down for the rest of service.

My mom arms have definitely acclimated to holding our 22-pound 7-month-old, but she can still make it difficult sometimes when she is squirming, or planking, or just trying to wriggle out of my grasp.

I was standing in a stall with the door open --- I figured I didn't want to just stare at a door but wanted to be able to close it if someone came in --- and was looking at us in the mirror while she ate. My arms were starting to get tired, and I realized that it was because while she was eating, she was pushing against my chest with one of her hands. Had she just rested and snuggled in while I was providing her with what she needed, it would have been easier and more relaxing for the both of us. However, she's an independent little gipper and she doesn't snuggle in regularly.

It kind of hit me in that moment how much that is like the human relationship to God.

God can provide us with all that we need, if we let him. However, we are so "independent" and think we can rely on ourselves that even when we humble ourselves enough to let him "help" us, we're still usually pushing back and trying to take on some of the work. When really, if we just leaned in to him and let him provide, it would be much easier on the relationship and on both of us.

I'm guessing that God so often looks at us the way that I looked at our daughter --- "If you just rest, I'll still give you everything you need. You don't need to keep pushing against me."

It's often hard to humble ourselves enough to just rest in the moment and let God take care of us. We're really not as independent as we often think we are.

It's not Thanksgiving, but let's still be thankful

 What if you woke up today with only the things that you thanked God for yesterday?

As I was packing our house and unpacking our new apartment, I came across a couple of sayings that my mom had written down for me several years ago. She made a bookmark with the above statement, and I decided to keep it in my daily devotional book, because it makes me think.

What do I need to make sure that I'm thanking God for more regularly? What is right in front of me that I take for granted, that I would be sad if it weren't there tomorrow?

So this morning, I started off by thanking God for the things in my life I would be devastated if I didn't have.

Obviously, my little girl and my amazing husband. Our dog. Our home. Plenty of food in the refrigerator and warmth from the cold. For our salvation and the grace and forgiveness of Jesus. For breath and life, for a new day that is laid before me. For financial stability in hard times. For health. For an extended family that also knows the love of God.

If you were to truly thank God for everything that is good in your life, how long would it take you? It would take me hours! Perhaps that's why 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says "Pray without ceasing." We should be constantly taking note of what God has blessed us with, ask him how we can use that for others, pray for those we come across and continually be thanking God for what is in our lives.

One more sign that my mom made that is now hanging on our fridge reads, "Dear God, I just want to take a moment, not to ask for anything, but to simply say 'thank you' for all I have."

It's not Thanksgiving, but let's remember to be thankful for all that we have this season.

Two things I'm thankful for today

Two sentences hit me hard and caused me to be overcome with thankfulness in an unexpected way today. 

"[God's] will is preeminent and will be done."

God's will is over all. God's ability to accomplish his will doesn't depend on if Christians do what they're supposed to, when they're supposed to do it. It doesn't depend on the right President getting elected to office. It doesn't depend on a terrorism attack getting stopped instead of happening. It's doesn't depend on anything.

Think about the salvation of mankind. God decided that to save the human race, his son would have to come to Earth, live a perfect life and die for our sins before rising again and beating Satan and death. Accomplishing that purpose didn't depend on any actions of humans --- God simply used what humans did to complete his already established will, his already planned out plan.

"It is only by grace that we celebrate a lordship other than our own."

I so often look at people on social media, those who have huge followings and who think of themselves as quite something, and I judge them. Why do they think they are so important? I mean, I know that I'm not the center of the world --- now, I may sometimes act like it, unfortunately, but that's a different story --- why don't they see that they really aren't all that high and mighty?

That's where this quote hit me.

So many people see themselves as the end-all-be-all because they don't have anything else. They don't believe in a God who created this universe, who is bigger than them, who saved them from sin, who they can rely on for anything. All they have is themselves to solve problems, to make the best life for themselves, to strive to be the best they can be. They are their own lords.

And that made me realize that it truly is by grace --- undeserved mercy --- that God revealed himself to me. I should be celebrating daily that I know the truth, that I know that God exists and that I know there is someone out there much bigger than me that I can take all my problems to, that cares about me, that gives me purpose.

I don't think I've ever thought about how blessed I am to have that knowledge before.

So today, I'm thankful that I am not my own lord and that my Lord's will doesn't depend on me or anyone else, but that it will always be done.

Quotes from "New Morning Mercies" by Paul David Tripp.

Free to love

 So many mornings, I put our daughter in bed with me and watch some TV while we both wake up.

OK, while I wake up and while she plays a bit with some toys I give her.

Usually, she sits/lays next to me against the pillows, but the other day she wasn't happy just being next to me. She wiggled her way over until she was leaning against my stomach with my arm on her and then she stopped fussing and began playing.

She just wanted to be touching me, snuggling with me, instead of just next to me.

It was the first time she ever wanted to actually snuggle with me, and it made me smile. It made my heart melt because it was her choice to be near me instead of me placing her by my side.

Someone asked my husband this week why bad things happen in this world if there is a God. He responded because of free will. But why would God give us free will if it leads to bad things? There are a lot of ways to answer that, but I think one of them is illustrated by what my daughter did.

God created his children, and he wants his children to love him. However, he doesn't want to force it; he wants them to choose it.

As sweet as it was having our girl snuggled against me as a baby, it wasn't her choice. I just picked her up and held her. It was a whole other thing to have her wiggle her way over to me and snuggle me by her choice. She chose to love on me in that moment, and that made it so much sweeter than when I just love on her.

God could force us to be perfect and to not give us any choice but to love him. However, he wanted the joy of us realizing that we need him and choosing to love him with all we have. It's so much sweeter when your kids want to be by your side, and God knew that.