Outdo your spouse

While reading "Cherish" this weekend, I took a passage about how a spouse should take care of an introvert.

I wanted to send it to Nate to tell him how he could support me, but I didn't want to sound bossy or make him feel like he was doing anything wrong. So I just took a picture to use it when something of that topic came up in conversation.

Then I flipped the page, and it talked about how showcasing our spouses means we let them have what they need because it makes them happy, even if that something doesn't make us happy.

And I realized as I was reading the passage I was thinking all about myself and not at all about how I could showcase my husband. I mean, I even took a picture of a passage that was about how to showcase me!

Earlier in the chapter, the author had written about husbands who play video games. I have blogged before at how it has taken me a long time to be OK with my husband spending time playing video games. It's just something that doesn't make sense to me.

However, yet again, showcasing him means letting him do what makes him happy, even when it doesn't make sense to me. The fact that it makes him happy should make me happy.

Romans 12:10 tells us to "outdo one another in showing honor." We are to try to outdo our spouses in showcasing each other and honoring each other. We are to try to outdo each other in making that person the best he or she can be and giving he or she what he or she needs.

The author of "Cherish" even wrote that we should go so far to appreciating every detail of our spouses that we think, "I'm kind of glad he sets the bar a little lower; otherwise, I couldn't be faithful to the command to outdo him." 

Who thinks that? When will I be so set on honoring my husband that I'm glad when he doesn't go quite as far in showcasing me as I wish because then it lets me outdo him?

Wow.

I think that is quite a statement. It is truly a fulfillment of being a good husband or wife when we're excited to be able to outdo the other in loving and cherishing instead of wanting more love and cherishing for ourselves.

That's selflessness to strive for.