Monday, August 29, 2016

People hear what they want to hear

People hear what they want to hear.

It's one of the reasons that I don't enjoy debating. For adults anyway, once someone has made up his or her mind, it is incredibly hard to change it because two people can take the exact same sentence and dependent on their views hear it in completely different ways.

That is incredibly apparent during this horrible political season. Hillary Clinton can make a statement, and Republicans will run with it, saying how absolutely ridiculous what she said is and how can anyone vote for someone who believes that? A Democrat will take that exact same statement, view it in a completely different way and say, "How can someone not stand for that?" The same goes for anything said by Donald Trump, if you like him you will view what he says in a completely different way than if you hate him.

We hear what we want to hear.

I think this was also apparent in the manhood/womanhood debate at church. What the pastor said didn't bother me, because the headship of a husband in a home and a man in a church is something I already believe in. I believe the Bible specifically calls for this.

Someone who doesn't believe this and thinks woman can and should lead just as much as men twisted the pastor's words and made them into something they weren't. That's because they heard something completely different because they heard what they wanted to hear. They wanted to hear something outrageous so they didn't have to follow the truth in the sermon, so they twisted the words into something else until it was outrageous enough for them.

It's like this at work, with your children, with your spouse --- if you are looking for something to fault, you can most likely twist words in your head enough to find fault with them. You can hear exactly what you want to hear.

We need to address situations with openness and try to see what people are really saying, not just what you think they are saying. It doesn't mean you'll agree with everything, but you might find much less fault with the people around you than you do right now.

Monday, August 22, 2016

He handed me a plate

We were at a wedding reception yesterday sitting with some friends, and one of them made a comment that she has made several times before when we've been together.

"You guys are cute," she said. "You really love each other."

Nate and I always look at each other with amused looks, because we're never quite sure what we've done that has made her say that. It's not like we are kissy or hand-holdy, because we really don't show public displays of affection.

"We do love each other," I said. That's really the only way I know how to react to that.

It came up later that night too, with a member of the groom's family.

"You guys were so cute at the food table," she said.

I laughed and questioned, the food table? I guess Nate had leaned over and given me a kiss when we were getting tacos, which is a little unusual for him. That must be what she meant.

"Yeah, you were so cute. He handed you a plate," she said.

He handed me a plate? It was adorable that he handed me a plate? I just laughed and thanked her.

Nate and I talked about it later. What must a typical marriage be like that my husband handing me a plate is adorable?

But those comments make me step back and take a good look at my husband and our marriage. The little things that I take for granted are absolutely huge and adorable to someone else. I have to make sure not to get caught up in the day-to-day and remember that it truly is those thoughtful little things that make our life together wonderful. Yes, my husband is a sweet man, and the fact that he thinks about my needs and hands me a plate is truly a blessing.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

A woman's place is behind her man

Wow, I can't believe it's been more than a month since I was last on here! Time flies so fast this time of year, and I don't intentionally lose touch but I just don't open the computer as often during the summer.

I have plenty of blog inspiration at the moment, but the biggest has come from a recent sermon at church. Our pastor started a series on current cultural issues, and the first one to tackle was the issue of manhood and womanhood, especially in their daily roles in life, work and the church.

I thought it was a wonderful sermon, but the pastor said he knew he was going to upset people and get flack for sharing what the Bible said about a man's place as leader and a woman's place as support. I completely agreed with what he said, and my sister-in-law, who was visiting with her family, came up to me afterward asking if I thought people actually had an issue with what the pastor talked about.

"I would hope in the Christian community there wouldn't be any issues, but I really don't know how people will react," I said.

So I asked the pastor what he had heard about the first in a two-part series on biblical manhood and womanhood, and he said many people were genuinely upset.

About what?

The Bible clearly states over and over again that men are to be the leaders. Men are supposed to take care of their families; they are supposed to work; they are supposed to be the spiritual leaders of their homes and of the church. Eve was created as a helper, a support, a companion for Adam, and the role of woman has not wavered since then. Women are to take care of their husbands and children, to support the mission of the family and the church.

I don't really understand what there is to argue about in that, theologically speaking. Culturally speaking, women are definitely on the rise. Women are leading companies, are running for governmental office and are "wearing the pants" in marriages and family relationships. Men have stopped standing up for themselves and have so worried about upsetting their wives that they just get run over.

It says in Genesis that after the fall women would yearn for their husbands, and that meant their husbands' positions. It means that sin made women want to be in charge, and sin is so obvious in so many relationships. Women are supposed to be the helper, but they are not, when it comes down to it, in charge.

That sounds horrible. But really, it is a joy to not have the responsibility of the final decision. A man is responsible for his entire family and their decisions. If his wife or children mess up, ultimately it is on him. That is what would really stink, so I'm glad I'm a woman. I want my man to lead me and set an example and be the one to rely on. I don't want that job.

A friend mentioned that one thing she didn't like in the sermon was that our pastor said women, seen in the example of Eve, are more easily tempted and that's one reason that they are not supposed to be in charge. That sounds harsh, but I have to say, I also agree with that. It's one reason that I don't think we should have a woman president --- hormones.

When it is a certain time of the month, or pretty much all the time once Aunt Flow stops showing up, women have crazy hormonal reactions. Even when it's not the once-a-month hormones, women are just more emotional in general. It causes us to react to situations quickly and with heart, but those initial reactions are often not rational. When I react off-the-cuff, I often look back and realize I should have taken more time to rationally think something through. In general, men look at things with a more rational eye. So yes, I do think that women's emotional and hormonal reactions get them into trouble, and we are more inclined to fall into sin in that way. I can't argue with that.

I'm super curious to see what the second in this series includes. How many more women will be upset when the truth is preached? Yet again, we need to listen and think, not just react on how our emotions are hurt when hearing that we might not be as important as we think we are.