10 years ago I started this blog

I started this blog 10 years ago.

I had a different job. I wasn't married. I wasn't pregnant. I didn't know where life was going to take me.

I still don't know where life is going to take me.

My husband and I are planners, but there is only so much in life that you can plan for. You don't know what career opportunities may arise. You don't know where God may lead. You don't know what great things and what hardships may fall before you.

Maybe we should change "planners" to "preparers."

We're prepared for what we expect, but we're also prepared for the unexpected. We're prepared that life may change in ways that we can't anticipate.

I was reading Psalm 139 this morning, and I could read it two-fold. "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." (Psalm 139:13-16)

I praise God that I don't know where life will lead, but that he has everything under control and already knows where we will go and how we can make a difference.

Yet, I also read that for our daughter. Even now, God is knitting her together. She is fearfully and wonderfully made. I can't see her, but he can. Beyond that, he knows what her life will be. He knows her every day. None of them are yet to be outside the womb, but he knows exactly what each of them holds.

When I think of those days, I don't know what to expect. However, I am prepared to cherish every one of them. There is a finite amount of days that I have, and a finite amount of days that we will have with her. May I always remember that I only have that day once. May I not get caught up in the tiredness but realize that she will only be an infant for a matter of months, a baby for months, a toddler for but a few years, a kid for a limited amount of time.

Thank God that he has a plan, and may we feel secure in being prepared but also not let our plans affect where his plan leads.

Who knows where we will be in the next 10 years?

He does. That's all that I need to know right now.

Take it and be grateful

When planning the 40th anniversary party for my parents, my mom kept offering to buy items.

"I can get some Chex Mix to put in bowls on the table," she said in a phone call.

"Why on earth would you buy something for your own party? No, you're not buying Chex Mix," I answered.

"We can at least pick up a couple of cases of water."

"No! It's your party that we're giving you, you're not buying anything for it."

I hung up the phone and told my husband that my parents were trying to buy stuff for their own party. Who does that?

Fast forward about four months, and a sweet girl from church is planning a baby shower for me.

I texted her and asked if I could provide some food or help set-up. She responded with, "It's a party for you, you're not allowed to help out in any financial way."

OK, so I get it, Mom. It's hard to let people do stuff for you.

I have another friend who is pregnant and really down for the count. Thankfully, I didn't have to deal with that, but pregnancy does make you tired and makes moving a bit more difficult. Both of our husbands have been pitching in, and as wives, we've struggled a bit trying to accept those gifts.

I know Nate would bring me a glass of water, but I'm not an invalid, so I can get it for myself. I don't want him to think that I'm lazy. Would I like it if I didn't have to get up? Yes. I'm certainly not going to ask for help though.

I think for a lot of women, and people in general, it's hard to accept help. It's even harder to ask for it. Yet, at some points in life, we need it.

What I told my friend was, I think that our husbands appreciate the opportunity to serve us. I think that they feel needed when they can take care of us when we're not at our best.

I like the saying, "Take it and be grateful."

Sometimes not accepting a gift is just as rude as asking for it. Sometimes arguing when someone wants to do something takes the joy out of it for them. Sometimes you just accept the gift, accept the help and show that you're thankful for it.

I have a feeling I'm going to have more of that to come when our baby's born. I'm going to have to just accept that I'm not a superhero and take help and be thankful.

Remind me of that if I forget, OK?