Sunday, January 14, 2018

The minuses of unforgiveness

Forgive others as God forgave you. Forgive those who trespass against you so the Lord will also forgive you.

Starting a sermon on Philemon, the pastor talked about forgiveness. The book is about a slave that ran away from his master — most likely stealing money from Philemon to make his way. But Paul saw a change in the slave Onesimus when he became a Christian. So Paul asked Philemon to forgive his slave, to welcome Onesimus home as a brother.

Forgiveness is a difficult concept. Perhaps the way to look at it is not how good forgiveness is, but how bad unforgiveness is. Not forgiving makes us stressed, bitter, depressed. It keeps us up at night. Vengeance from unforgiveness leads to hatred and death.

Watching “Sons of Anarchy,” the lives of the bikers deteriorate because of hatred, unforgiveness and vengeance. This quote might be the perfect ending to a discussion of the need of forgiveness.

“I realized that in my downward spiral of hopelessness I was actually falling into a huge hole created by my absence of basic human graces. The most obvious is forgiveness. If I was wronged by anyone, in or out of the club, I had to be compensated by money or blood. There was no turning the other cheek. When relationships become a ledger of profit and loss, you have no friends, no loved ones, just pluses and minuses. You are absolutely alone.” - John Teller, “Sons of Anarchy”


Monday, January 8, 2018

Thanks and giving

We were driving across the state on our way to visit my sister-in-law's family and I was reaching my hand into my new Pioneer Woman jar for some more homemade apple chips when "Thud."

I froze with my hand hovering above the jar and looked at my husband with huge eyes, and his expression mimicked my own.

The car had shook with the explosive noise, and I put the jar lid on as a grinding noise started somewhere underneath the vehicle.

"Did we blow a tire?" I asked, my eyes still huge and the dog on the backseat looking at us like "What the heck?"

Nate pulled onto the new off ramp and slowed the vehicle down on the shoulder. We both put on the coats we had taken off during the drive and opened our doors to the -15 degree temperatures and frigid winds of the day.

We walked around the car.

Nothing. No exploded tires. Nothing hanging underneath the vehicle. No smoke coming from under the hood.

It didn't look like anything was wrong.

We were almost exactly halfway between where we were coming from and where we were going, out in the middle of nowhere on the Saturday before New Year's Eve. The temperatures for the next few days were not supposed to get much above -10 degrees, and this is the time that we have car trouble?

Nate looked under the hood, around the tires and tried to figure out where the grinding sound was coming from but to no avail.

We called my dad, the usual guru in times of car trouble and tried to explain what happened. It wasn't a chunk of ice in the wheel well; there was no snow buildup. There was absolutely nothing visibly wrong.

"Where are you? We can head out to meet you and your dad can help Nate work on the car," Mom offered.

"No, we're too far away. It's too cold. There's nothing we could do at this point anyway," we answered via speakerphone inside the Dodge Journey.

We were blessed that not only my parents but Nate's sister also offered to drive hours to come pick us up. What a great family we have.

After much back and forth, we decided to head to the closest people we knew --- Nate's grandparents who lived about 45 minutes away. Maybe then Nate could figure out how to fix what appeared to be a wheel bearing issue.

We called my dad and told him, and immediately he said, "Do you want me to come help you fix it? I'll toss some tools in the car and drive over."

"That's a 2.5-hour drive for you; you certainly don't have to do that," I said. "I mean, if you want to, that'd be amazing, but you certainly don't have to."

But he did.

He drove 2.5 hours to us. He spent 5 hours in a cold garage underneath a cold car on a frigid night, changing first one wheel bearing then another and finally deciding it wasn't the wheel bearings after all but the rear differential.

He spent the night in a stranger's house (Nate's grandparents, but still, my dad didn't know them) and got up early the next morning to make it home to my mom.

We didn't even really know how to respond, because I think the percent of men that would drop everything at a moment's notice and drive halfway across the state to help his grown daughter and son-in-law work on their vehicle in absolutely freezing cold temperatures has to be slim to none.

That, folks, is generosity at its finest, selflessness at its core, love in action. It makes tears come to my eyes thinking just how much God has blessed my family with a man that is so often silent and yet so often speaking loudly through his actions.

It's impossible to thank someone for that, to show how much we appreciated that. We gave him an MRE. That's the best we could do.

But we're so thankful. We're thankful for my dad. We're thankful we made it home safely. We're thankful it wasn't worse than it was. We're thankful for a giving family that will house us at last minute's notice. We're thankful for family that will do anything to help. We're thankful for offers of assistance from kind strangers.

In what could have been a situation that led us to memories of a horrible New Year's trip, I now have memories of what a great family we have, and what an amazing father I have.

Thank you Dad. It's not enough, but thank you. I love you.

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Jesus changes everyday life

It’s not just a new year resolution, it’s something I’ve wanted for years — a closer relationship with God. But it’s easy to put something that you don’t “see” on the back burner for what is in front of me: A dirty house, piles of laundry, baking to do.

But reading a new devotional so far this year has been good. It’s helped me already to remember just how big God is, just how much I underestimate him and just how much he deserves much more of my praise.

The last part of Colossians we’re looking at in church has a similar theme — “How does Jesus change everyday life?” He should change every part of our everyday life.

1. Jesus makes us people of prayer. We should pray all the time.

I’ve never been good at prayer. My mind wanders like a kid in school with ADD. After I read my devotion for the day I’m trying to at least say a prayer of praise about how good and how big God is. I am great at asking, but I know that God deserves so much more glory and praise than what I offer.

If you can’t think of what to pray about, be thankful. Pray for open doors to share the gospel message.  Pray for those in the Middle East who are being persecuted, for those hiding away in North Korea or China, for those who don’t know God in Africa or the South American jungles.

2. Jesus changes ordinary choices.

We are to use wisdom to make wise choices, not just right choices. Colossians 4:5 says, “Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time.” While something may not be wrong, we need to be extra wise to see how something may be perceived. It might not be wrong, but how will someone else view it and will that open or close the door for the gospel?

We’re also to make the best use of our limited time. This is always convicting to me. I tend to be a little lazy. We don’t have kids, so my time is my own. At home, I do fritter it away relaxing in front of the TV and snuggling with my puppy. I should be doing the stuff on my list, or should be praying or calling a friend or writing a letter. My time would best be spent elsewhere. Perhaps I need to put a limit on it...

3. Jesus changes the way we speak.

I am not much of a talker, but many people turn people away with their words or their tone. We should speak with gracious words.

4. We need good Christian friends.

I am blessed to have some wonderful, godly women in my life. And I need to be that good Christian friend to those around me. I need to be closer to God so that is reflected in my life and my friendships. We need people who will lift us up and show us what is beyond our culture, beyond worldly values.

Jesus, our faith, should change everyday life. Let’s make a resolution that 2018 will be a year that reflects those changes.