Saturday, June 3, 2017

Catching bids

My husband gets a new gun.

He starts telling me about it, and some of what he says I don't really understand. It's numbers and letters that I don't always get.

He hands it to me to take a look through the scope.

It's heavy, but I take it and look through it.

"Cool. That has a great picture," I say.

He's not looking for me to understand every detail about that gun, but he is looking for someone who will share in his joy at that moment of getting a new weapon.

I had never heard the phrase before, but the author of "Cherish" calls this catching bids. He used the example of a man who loves birding pointing out a finch in the yard. How will his wife respond? Will she go to the window to see it? Will she look up from her book for a second and acknowledge his sighting? Will she tell him to stop bothering her?

The bid is the need for connection at the moment, sharing something he loves. Will his wife catching it and respond?

The books says that couples who divorce within the first six years of marriage catch only 33 percent of bids. Couples who are married longer catch up to 87 percent.

It's not about what you find interesting. It's about supporting your spouse in what he or she finds interesting.

I know that Nate doesn't care about what deals I got on groceries or what I baked that day. But I want him to express interest in what I do and say. I get excited when he is excited over what excites me. I want to get excited over what excites him as well.

Let's catch those bids today. Let's be intentional about supporting our spouses in what interests them.

I really need to renew "Cherish" so I can get through the whole thing. This book is just full of awesome tidbits that I know I won't remember unless I write them down and think through them on this blog!

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