We watch a lot of "How I Met Your Mother," and since we've had Netflix I think we've already gone through the series twice.
It's a nice show that we can put on and get a good laugh out of but not have to pay all that much attention because we know the storyline. Shows like that are nice to stream while I'm doing chores, because if I walk away I don't miss anything of pertinence.
The other day I was listening to it while I was showering before work, and it was the episode where Marshall and Lily get married. When everything was going wrong at the wedding, they decided to have an intimate outdoor ceremony just with their friends before their big indoor ceremony, just so when everything went wrong inside the day was already perfect because they were already married.
When they started though, neither of them had their vows.
"You don't need them. Just tell each other why you love each other," their friend Ted said.
That's not really a vow then, I thought.
Marshall and Lily go on to say why they love each other, not actually promising anything. Lily ends her speech with, "The most important reason that I love you is because you make me happy."
I know that is the moment that people melt. That is supposed to be the big culmination to Marshall and Lily's love story, but really? "I love you because you make me happy" is what she brings out at the wedding?
What happens when your spouse no longer makes you happy? No one can make another person happy every minute of every day, or even every day. A wedding vow is supposed to be a sacred promise to love the other person, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. Not because the other person makes you happy.
Happiness is infatuation. It's wonderful when you're infatuated with your spouse. It's wonderful when you have those lovey-dovey feelings, and I think that Nate and I are blessed with that probably more than many other couples. However, that's not what marriage is based on.
Marriage is based on a choice to love the other person, to stay committed to them every day. It's not a choice based on how you feel. It's a decision based on a promise before God.
So, I'm sorry Marshall and Lily. I didn't melt at your wedding "vows." I felt sorry for you that your life and your love is based on happiness and how you feel. I hope it goes deeper than that.
Disclaimer: Yes, I know this is a TV show and Marshall and Lily aren't real. However, people often base their lives and decisions off how "perfect" people's lives are on TV. Let's remember basing our lives on happiness is not as awesome as it sounds on a TV wedding.