Struggling to live for what so many die for

I finished reading "Hearts of Fire: Eight Women in the Underground Church and Their Stories of Costly Faith" and am working on "Defying ISIS," and it's making me realize that church persecution is alive and well in the world today.

With the current political climate, we talk about how Christians are under attack in the United States, and I don't think many of us realize what Christians are going through in other parts of the world. In "Defying ISIS," the author talks to Christian refugees who wonder why Americans aren't standing up for them, why we aren't fighting for them when we know what's going on. Yet, I didn't comprehend what was going on.

Yes, I knew that ISIS was bad, but what they were doing to Christians? The fact that almost 90 percent of Christians in the Middle East have been annihilated or forced to convert? The fact that ISIS fighters are buying and selling Christian women and girls and using them for tortuous lustful acts?

I'm trying to process this information and how we can actually make a difference in that world. What can we do?

But another question popped up. "It has always been a mystery to me why so many Christians in the West struggle to live for what so many Christians in persecuted counties are willing to die for," Johnnie Moore wrote in "Defying ISIS."

I so often think that the goal of being a Christian is to be a role model and to get people to like you, because if they like you, they will want to be like you. If they want to be like you, then maybe they too will want to become a Christian.

In the persecuted world, it's not about living for other people. It's about living, and dying, for Christ. It's all about Jesus. Through persecution, in troublesome times, they will get to talk to people about God. They're not worried whether those people like them. They are worried about what they are doing for God.

Through persecution, the gospel often grows, it said in the book. That seems counterintuitive in the West. It seems if Christians are being persecuted, who would want to become one? But I think it's the example that if people are willing to give up their lives for something, that something is important.

God can work through any situation. I think we need to stop wanting people to like us and wanting to live comfortable lives, thinking that if we're happy and content then that means God is shining down on us.

Almost all of the Apostles were martyred. People hated them. People didn't like them. It was God working through them that brought people to himself, not the fact that people liked the Apostles.

I struggle to read the Bible and to pray, because there are cushier things to do. I want life to be comfortable. Those who know life is not about comfort and who have nothing but faith truly are blessed.

I keep thinking the goal is to get to heaven and to hear "Well done, good and faithful servant." But who am I compared to those who are every day suffering and risking their lives for God? They will surely hear the phrase. I think we have to work ever so much harder to truly become good and faithful servants.

It is easier for a camel to go through an eye of a needle than for a rich man to reach heaven. Because us rich men don't have any idea what it is truly like to "live for Christ" and to be willing to die at any moment for him. We struggle to live for what so many are daily giving their lives for.

I think it's time I remember that.

Thankful for...

Something came up that made me think about my attitude in life. I think I’m a positive person, but maybe that isn’t quite so apparent to others. So, I have been watching myself to see how I reacte in different situations and to see if I’m more complaining or pessimistic than I think I am.

Being in an optimistic and positive place, I wanted to make a list of things I’m thankful for today. Maybe it will inspire you to make your own.

-Warmth. I tend to not create a lot of my own body heat, and right now I’m sucking the warmth from my fat bulldog that is cuddled on my lap under a blanket. I love being warm. I’m so thankful that I don’t have to suffer from cold unnecessarily like so many people do.

-Safety. I just started “Defying ISIS” by Johnnie Moore and have joined Voice of the Martyrs and have realized so much persecution is going on that I didn’t even consider. I’m so thankful for my safety here, and I’m determined not to take it for granted, because it’s for certain not a given for my entire life.

-Creative outlets. At work, I have been working on new exhibits, and I love getting to be creative in my job. I also love that I can redecorate, make new crafts and crochet at home. It’s an amazing feeling to be creative and make something useful. That feeling of success is something I’m thankful for.

-Grace. At Easter, we focus on God’s grace, that he sent his Son to die in our places for our sins. Without that grace, we’d all be screwed. And I’m also thankful for grace in life. I’m thankful my husband gives me so much room to make mistakes and is gracious when I mess up. It’s a true gift to be given that.

That’s all for the moment.

What about you?

Who wants $25 anyway?

Your mom hands you $25 to go pick out a toy as a kid.

She tells you that the money is only to buy a toy and if you decide not to buy one that you have to give the money back. However, if you buy a toy, you get to keep it.

It's a no brainer, right?

You buy a toy.

You wouldn't want to squirrel away the $25 because you couldn't keep it anyway. You might as well buy something so you come out ahead in the end.

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."

I'm not sure this is a perfect example of this quote that I wrote down in church a couple of weeks ago, but I think it makes sense.

When you think about the Christian life, it doesn't look tempting to some people. It looks like you have to give up everything fun in order to live by faith. But life is something we can't keep anyway. Right now, I know people struggling with cancer. They are young, and they aren't choosing to give up their life. It's just that life is temporary. We can't keep it.

However, when we give up this life to live for God, we gain something better. We gain a life on earth that is full of peace in every circumstance. We gain a sense of purpose. We gain unconditional love. We gain eternal life with Jesus in heaven. We gain unending perfection, unending life, unending peace.

None of these things can be lost.

So it's like that $25. Why would you keep it when you can have something better than just money and when you wouldn't get to keep the money anyway?

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."

Silent Country

As I laid in the grass, soaking up some pre-spring sun in the tall, tall brome, I couldn't help but think about the quiet that was making so much noise around me.

And although I usually think it prose, in memoir, this moment seemed like it needed something more.

Silent country
It's quiet along that old, gravel road.
No background music.
No women laughing
or crying
No fans cheering.

It seems almost silent
when technology isn't controlling,
when screens are black
when speakers are off.

But lay back in the solitude
where grasses tap your cheeks
and the bright sunlight seems to speak.
And it's not quiet at all.

Rat a tat tat.
The downy woodpecker moves
along the branch
tapping, tapping, tapping
for dinner along the way.

Phoow.
Winds gust as a mass
of starlings make their way
from the grove giants
to the field stubble.

Gobble gobble gobble.
There's no disguising the sound
of the dark mass in the distance
that reveals itself through its call.

Honk honk honk.
To-wheet.
Crunch.
Glug.
Whoosh.

Silence is golden.
It's also black, brown,
gray, white,
clear,
blue
and yellow.