I had to work today --- most people do on Wednesdays --- but Nate's schedule gives him odd days off so he had a free mid-week day.
He got to use that free time to go snowmobiling with a friend, and although I haven't talked to him more than just a quick "Are you coming home for dinner?" I could tell from his voice it was a good day.
When we started dating, it took me quite a while to realize that Nate needed guy time. I grew up with parents who hardly ever spent time with friends; they just spent time together. That is wonderful, and if it satisfied both of their needs, that's great for them. I lean more toward that way. I have beautiful, kind, sweet, intelligent, supportive, awesome girlfriends. I love to spend time with them. But if I'm being completely honest, I could spend all my time with Nate and not really need anyone else.
The difference in our personalities was hard to overcome when we were younger. I didn't understand why Nate didn't always want to be with me, and he didn't understand why I couldn't understand his need for male companionship. It led to frustrating conversations, butting heads and tears on my part.
Although it sometimes still aches a little when Nate wants to do something without me, I've come to grips with the fact that he needs other people more than I do. Then when he comes home, he truly wants to be home and wants to be with me and has a happy demeanor. How can I fault that?
Marriage is so much about compromise. So many people think that their perfect match is going to be just like them and, well, perfect. No one is. And no two people are completely compatible. It takes a lot of time and learning to see what your partner needs, and then it takes patience and selflessness to allow give it to them.
I try to let Nate have enough guy time, but he has also realized that I need to be with him and he allows me to butt in on his guy time and come along often as well. In fact, he lets me come along way more than he has time to himself with his male comrades. What can I say? He's a wonderful husband.
Sometimes when our spouses want something that doesn't make sense to us, we have to stop and take a step back and think --- is this making them happy? And if it is, just let it roll.