I tend to be very quiet when I first meet people, and it takes me a while to open up.
This weekend though, I realized that a couple of times I was being mean to my closest friends. It's like when I open up and realize that I have strong friends, that I can be overly honest and even mean. I think that it's funny at the moment, but I realize later that although those comments are friend-breakers, I'm sure it's not a friendship grower.
In a marriage, the closer you get, the more you try to bring positive and not make fun of the other person --- either in public or in private. There is nothing about making fun of someone that helps a relationship. I wouldn't do it to my husband, so I'm not sure why I think it's OK for me to do to my friends.
There is a difference between helping to strengthen someone by being honest about a flaw that is jeopardizing them, and there's even a difference between joking about a small flaw that doesn't matter. However, there is a line that I sometimes cross that really can come across mean, even if I don't realize it at the moment.
Sometimes my best trait might be that I don't talk all that much, and maybe I need to make sure that I keep my mouth shut a little bit more, even around my friends.
So to those out there I've hurt with off-handed comments, I'm sorry. I'm working on it.