Spreading our good news: Part I

We were squeamish about telling the news. I think if we talked about it, we were squeamish to really start to get excited ourselves. As we got older, we knew more and more people who have had miscarriages. At Nate’s work alone, three couples had suffered miscarriages in the past year.

I wasn’t sure my heart could handle it if I got too excited.

I told God over and over again how much I wanted this child. I prayed daily for a “Strong body, strong mind and a heart turned toward You.” I did everything I could to be healthy so the little one was healthy.

But I held my emotions back. I wanted to just get to that 13-week mark before we told anyone. I didn’t want to let it slip too early and something awful happen that I just couldn’t deal with.

However, we were going back to the Quad Cities for my parents’ 40th anniversary party on Oct. 5, 2019, so we decided it was time to at least let our families in on the news.

I put together a slideshow of more than 100 pictures that my mom sent me of my parents’ lives together. Their wedding, their first home together, photos of my mom pregnant with my brother and with me, family vacations.

In the last section, I expanded the photos to pictures of my brother and his family, and photos of me and Nate, ending with an ultrasound photo that wasn’t labeled and finally the words “Baby Roth due May 2020.”

After dinner on Friday night, my parents sat in front of my work HP laptop with the bright pink flash drive sticking out the side as it began to play the photos, Scriptures and music I had put together.

Nate and I sat at the half-wall turned breakfast bar, just behind my parents as they watched. I leaned against Nate’s legs, and he took my hand.

Then I felt his fingers move to my wrist.

I knew he was feeling my racing pulse. My armpits had started to sweat; I was trying to breathe quietly even though my breath was coming in puffs, and my pulse was probably at least 120 beats per minute.

I looked at him with a smile and rolled my eyes.

“Leave me alone,” I mouthed, smiling at his reaction that I was so nervous at that moment.

My parents didn’t realize anything unusual was going on behind them. My mom was engrossed in the slideshow, tearing up at the memories of the last 40 years.

About 11 minutes later, I recognized that the photos were coming to an end. Nate said something to my dad, who turned around to answer him.

Keep watching, I thought as his eyes looked away from the screen.

Up came the ultrasound photo, and my mom’s head snapped backward looking at me. She had a question in her eyes, and my dad turned around to look at the screen when he saw her reaction.

I smiled and pointed back to the screen.

“Baby Roth due May 2020.”

I heard my dad’s glad, deep chuckle and my mom sprang from her seat and engulfed me in a hug, bawling into my shoulder. Tears sprung to my eyes as I hugged her.