Tuesday, December 22, 2020

Stop pushing against God

 Our daughter was fussing in church, and she was giving definite signs that she was hungry so I got up to take her into the bathroom to nurse her and quiet her down for the rest of service.

My mom arms have definitely acclimated to holding our 22-pound 7-month-old, but she can still make it difficult sometimes when she is squirming, or planking, or just trying to wriggle out of my grasp.

I was standing in a stall with the door open --- I figured I didn't want to just stare at a door but wanted to be able to close it if someone came in --- and was looking at us in the mirror while she ate. My arms were starting to get tired, and I realized that it was because while she was eating, she was pushing against my chest with one of her hands. Had she just rested and snuggled in while I was providing her with what she needed, it would have been easier and more relaxing for the both of us. However, she's an independent little gipper and she doesn't snuggle in regularly.

It kind of hit me in that moment how much that is like the human relationship to God.

God can provide us with all that we need, if we let him. However, we are so "independent" and think we can rely on ourselves that even when we humble ourselves enough to let him "help" us, we're still usually pushing back and trying to take on some of the work. When really, if we just leaned in to him and let him provide, it would be much easier on the relationship and on both of us.

I'm guessing that God so often looks at us the way that I looked at our daughter --- "If you just rest, I'll still give you everything you need. You don't need to keep pushing against me."

It's often hard to humble ourselves enough to just rest in the moment and let God take care of us. We're really not as independent as we often think we are.

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