A few words at the end

My grandpa is dying.

It all started when I was in sixth grade, and he went into the hospital and was diagnosed with COPD. He was told to stop smoking or he would die. He did stop smoking, and actually I think he has lived much longer than they expected.

However, it's come to that time, and it's pretty awful to think about. I haven't had a grandparent pass away. My aunt died from cancer, and my great-grandma died a few years ago, but I haven't been surrounded by much death in my life.

In "I Promise," a book I'm reading, the main character's grandfather passes away, and her friend tells her "he was a good man." I haven't seen it in my life, because my grandfather truly loves me, but I know that most of his life he hasn't been a good man.

But as the end comes, it makes me realize that God is so good. That's because at this time, all I want is to know that my grandpa has accepted Jesus and will go to heaven. It doesn't matter what he did in his life, what mistakes he made, how long he has waited to accept Christ. All that matters in the end is that we believe that Jesus is the son of God and that he gave his life for us on the cross. We can say it in our dying breath, and God, in his graciousness, will welcome us home.

We don't always know when we're going to die, so we need to be prepared, but it is still wonderful to know that there is always hope for us until our dying breath.

When I read in the book that saying "he was a good man," I realized that some people wouldn't say that about my grandpa. I stopped to think about what I want people to say about me when I die. I don't want them to balk and wonder about where I ended up. I don't want them to have to find good things to say about me. I want them to say that I was a wonderful woman who loved her family, loved God and gave selflessly.

If you can put into a few words what you want people to say when you die, because they will sum you up in just a sentence or a few words of condolence to your family, then you can figure out what your true goals are. You can find out who you want to be and what you should focus on.

A selfless wife, mother and God-lover. That's who I want to be.

And a God-lover is who I pray my grandpa becomes before the end.