Wednesday, January 22, 2014

No emotions in marriage

My husband and I are big "The O.C." nerds. I have watched the series more times than I can remember, but it is still fun to bring it out once in a while and go through it again.

I was watching an episode the other day where two characters were discussing their marriage. Less than a year in, the husband decides that he wants a divorce. However, when his wife starts crying, he said that he will give it a little more effort.

I looked at Nate and said, "I'm so glad our marriage isn't based on the day-to-day."

I can definitely see why there are so many divorces if people base their decision to be married on the day-to-day emotions and problems they encounter. On the good days, they are happy to be hitched, but on the rough ones they seek divorce.

That's not marriage, that's dating. Dating means that you have the option to break up, to come and go, to get out when you're not liking what the other person is doing.

Marriage is a commitment. It means that when things are rough, you don't get to just walk out. You have to work through the problem, even if you don't feel like it. It means biting your tongue when what you want to say isn't going to be productive, even if it will feel good in the moment. It means giving of yourself and not expecting anything in return. It means not testing your partner but always caring.

Marriage isn't based on the day-to-day. It's based on a lifelong vow that you will stick with that person no matter what happens.

And I'm not a newlywed anymore, I should know! Wink, wink.

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