We haven't been married very long, and I'm sure that some people with more experience under their belts will shake their head at our naivete. However, I want to share something that has been working well in our relationship that just might be something others want to add.
Last week was a really busy week. After my family visited, it seemed each evening was full and I didn't have time to do laundry or pick up. The kitchen got more and more cluttered with dishes, the stove adorned with food droppings, the living room covered in opened mail.
Yesterday, I finally had some free time after church to pick up. I canned tomatoes and started the third of seven loads of laundry. I was exhausted and took a nap. Then it was time to do the cleaning.
Maybe it's just me, but when I have a lot to do, I don't even want to start. A little bit means a little bit of time, so it's easier to get motivated. A lot to do means a lot of work, and I just would rather keep putting it off.
However, I dug in. I cleaned the bathrooms, swept, dusted, vacuumed, picked up all the clutter, cleaned the kitchen.
Finally, when Nate came home from dinner the house was pretty much clean, although I still needed to fold and put away laundry.
He came in and said "The house looks nice."
It was a little compliment, but it meant that he noticed my hard work and appreciated it.
He is good about complimenting me on my work at home: Canning, cleaning, sewing. The appreciation makes me want to keep doing what I do.
Whenever he does stuff, I try to express my appreciation and say "Thank you" or "It looks great" so that he is also motivated to keeping up the effort.
In marriages that include a lot of fighting, it seems that the husband and wife feel underappreciated and are no longer motivated because they don't think their efforts are noticed. I don't want that to happen to us, and I'm so glad, so far, we've been able to show our gratitude and appreciation for each other.