Wednesday, January 28, 2015

TV wives vs. godly wives

Debra and Ray fight constantly on "Everybody Loves Raymond," with Debra often berating her husband for little things that should not cause drama.

Kari picks at Doug on "King of Queens" and acts like an all-around...not nice woman.

Molly dominates her boyfriend-then-husband on "Mike & Molly."

The other night when we were watching TV, Nate turned to me and said, "They should make a TV wife like you."

"Nice?" I said.

He continued on about how annoying it was to see woman constantly immaculate their husbands and act like it's OK to dominate a relationship and constantly nag and berate men on TV. He said a biblically good wife would be much better to watch.

Wives who submit to their husbands, serve their men by cooking and cleaning and support their husbands as they go to work day after day after day don't make for interesting TV. Those kinds of wives don't create drama in their household, don't pick fights and don't cause the ups and downs that creates a sitcom.

However, the sad part is a lot of women do act like the wives on TV. They see those horrid examples on the little screen at home and on the big screen in the theaters, and the women of today think that's how they're supposed to act. They think it's normal to want everything they see in stores and to expect their husbands to pay for it. They think it's normal to want their men to work hard and bring home the bacon but not to work so much that it interferes with their schedule.

Then the moment they don't get what they want, they think it's OK to pick a fight or give the silent treatment or storm out of the house, because that's what they see the women on TV doing.

But it's not OK.

God put men as the head of the household. That wasn't a problem until humans ate of a tree they weren't supposed to eat of and sin entered the world. From that moment on, Eve and all her female descendants were cursed with "your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." Another translation says, "Your desire will be to control your husband."

The fact that women want to control their men is not a sign of strength, like our culture tells us. It is a sign of sin and weakness. We should support our husbands. We were created to be their helpmates, but ultimately we are to listen to them as the more logical sex and let them lead the house. It doesn't always feel good, but that is the way that God made it and that's the way that it works.

That also means that men have to step up and not let women control them. For years, Nate has joked that when he puts his foot down I listen. Most of the time it's just playful, but he knows that if we did disagree and he put his foot down, I would step back and let him lead. That's my job, and it's his job to put his foot down if need be.

A relationship with mutual love and respect and trust, working in the way that God created marriage to work is a beautiful thing.

And I wish that it made for good TV so people could see what a real relationship looks like instead of falling for the lies told to us on TV.


  1. I concur. I'm not always quiet and easy going, but in the end he is the head of the house.... And sometimes he agrees with me in the " process"