Friday, March 4, 2011

(It's not) All About Me, All About I

They say opposites attract, however, I've heard from many people that you need someone like you to make a relationship work.

Well, Nate and I definitely are going with the first thought, as we are opposite in many ways. One of the biggest differences we have is our social personality. Nate loves spending time with other people - online, on the phone, playing video games on Xbox Live. I could spend all my time with him and him alone and probably be just fine.

Through the years, I have gone through spurts where I have struggled with his need to spend time with other people so much. I want to monopolize most of his time, but he needs to get out. Sometimes I get frustrated when I start thinking only about what I want and not what he needs.

That's the thing about relationships - even those people who are the most similar are still different in some ways - we all have to make sacrifices.

When we start focusing on our own wants and desires, we tend to overlook what our love wants and desires. The happiest moments I have are when I am doing what Nate wants, because it makes me feel fulfilled to fulfill someone else.

The two greatest commandments are to love God and to love your neighbor as yourself. Sometimes that means loving people the way you want to be loved. Sometimes that means loving people in the way that they need to be loved, even if that is not the way that you feel loved.

Like I talked about with the different love languages, we all have different needs and desires. And it's important to realize that what you want may not be what you partner wants. Creating a successful relationship isn't about pleasing yourself, it's about focusing on the person that you love, just as Jesus focused on us instead of himself.

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