I've had a lot of convictions through the years.
I could probably count on one hand how many I have stuck to without questioning. I rarely stick to my guns.
For instance, my freshman year in college I decided I wanted to switch schools so I could be closer to Nate. After much thought I decided to stay at my school, but it was hard to stick with my original decision. My sophomore year in college, I started to question my relationship with Nate. After I started my job, I almost quit to take a job where I live now.
Those are just a few of the more recent large decisions that I have made and questioned.
It came up again when I looked for a new cell phone last week. I had an upgrade due and needed a new one, because mine was shutting off randomly and just having troubles in general. It was an LG Chocolate Touch and I haven't really liked it since I got it.
However, I didn't want to get a smartphone, because I didn't want to pay the extra data charges. Working from home, I have my computers in front of me most of the time and didn't think it worth it to pay more for data every month.
I started looking for a phone with a Qwerty keyboard, a phone that I could get for free. My last phone is the only phone I've ever paid for, and I didn't like it so I didn't want to waste money on a phone again.
I looked at the very limited variety of basic phones my wireless company provides, and it was select. The only phone I liked - had a keyboard, video and a decent camera - was $100. I didn't want to pay that! So I decided to wait and see if they got new phones.
However, my new puppy decided to grab my phone from my pocket and gnaw on it. She did very little damage and I didn't notice anything wrong until a few hours later I tried to use my phone and the touch screen wasn't working. Apparently her sharp little teeth made an indentation on the touch sensor so the phone couldn't tell I was trying to use the touch screen.
Well, it was time for a new phone.
Nate said I should get an iPhone, but I was determined not to waste his money on extra data charges.
A few minutes into looking at the phone store, I was paying for a new iPhone.
"I don't stick to anything."
"No, you don't."
"Is that bad?"
"Yes. Sometimes you need to."
I started thinking about my lack of willpower. I really need to start sticking to my guns. And maybe I need to stop relying on myself about sticking to my guns. I need to rely on God's power and stick to it with his help.
I think that's my new year's resolution.