"Under and Alone"

I just finished reading "Under and Alone," the story of an ATF agent that infiltrated the Mongol outlaw motorcycle gang.

I have read the story of another agent that went undercover with the Hell's Angels motorcycle gang, and both stories were kind of similar.

They tell the story of brave men who gave up their lives for a period of time to take on groups of men and women that kill, rape, steal and deal drugs.

Some of the passages made me almost sick to my stomach, about women throwing themselves at these lawless men and men talking about killing family members.

But I found it interesting, because at the end of the book, when the ATF agent had to testify against his fellow Mongols, he had a hard time doing it.

When his mother died during his time undercover, the ATF agents didn't say a word to him about it. However, the Mongols all hugged him and grieved with him. They had his back during fights and truly loved him, at least his outlaw persona.

Everyone has a good side and a bad side. The ATF agents may have been on the right side of the law, but they didn't always have the heart they needed to. The Mongols led horrible lives but sometimes had good hearts.

I wonder what made most of these Mongol members who they were. What were their home lives like growing up? Did they not know any better than to lie, steal and kill?

Sometimes life is black and white. Sometimes it is gray. Sometimes it is a pool of red - hurt, despair, depression, pain - that pools together that it gets so dark it turns black.

I talked to a man the other day that noted how awful the Ku Klux Klan was. He said told a story of murder, and he said that he hoped those murderers were rotting in Hell.

I was a little surprised that my inner reaction was that I didn't hope they were burning in Hell. In fact, I hoped that they realized how wrong they were and found God before they died.

I hope that the Mongols also somehow have found God, because his grace can cover even the dirtiest of sins. He can take even the deepest black and red colors and turn them white and pure.