Friday, May 20, 2011


I have never been great at timing.

I have a lot of thoughts run through my mind, but I never know when a good time is to bring them up.

Say the topic comes up in conversation but it was not in the way I was planning, should I bring it up then? Then after I take a second to think about it, it seems like it is past the moment. Sometimes when I want to bring up a topic, the words just repeat themselves in my head and I just can't get them out of my mouth. When I finally get them out of my mouth I'm never sure if it was the right time or not, it was just the time that I could finally say them.

Perhaps it's the writer in me. It's hard enough for me to talk, and I plan out what I say so carefully if it is an important topic that when it comes out it's never like I want, so I never want to even start talking about it.

How do you know what is the right time. They are so many different scenarios that could happen just depending on when you bring a topic up, how do you know when to do it? Is it better to just get it out there right away or is it better to let it sit and wait for a convenient moment? What if that moment doesn't happen for a really long time?

Sometimes, I really hate conversation. Sometimes I really wish I didn't have to converse at all. I wish I could relax in the quiet moments and just let the time pass in the peace that I have at those times.

For those of you who are chatty, you probably don't understand this at all. In fact, I often think this is not the right way to go. Even though it's my personality, I try to change it to become more chatty, because that is what people expect of me. That is what people like, others who can converse with them.

I guess I'm just not a good conversationalist, even though I try to be and have gotten better at it. However, when it comes to the important moments, I know I'm not great at conversing or getting my point across in an articulate manner.

I wish I could just stick to writing. It's so much easier that way.

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