I thought about what I would do in that situation. I can definitely imagine praying to God and pleading for a child but would I really be able to give it up if he granted me one?
When Hannah gave Samuel to serve God, he rewarded her with five more children. She also had the pleasure of knowing that one of her children was living a wonderful life of service to her Lord.
When I thought about this, I wondered why I wouldn't be able to keep my promise. I think it all comes down to trust. If I'm being 100 percent honest, I confess that I do not trust completely. I don't think I would trust that giving up my child would be the best thing, that God could make me satisfied and complete without them.
I knew for a long time that I had troubles trusting - even people - but I thought I had gotten better at that. I have come a long way in trusting when making a decision, but I guess I still haven't completely figured out how to trust that my life is alright.
I don't trust a lot of things. I wrote a whole list of things that I don't trust, but I'm not sure I trust enough to let others read it.
I thought I had come a long way in that department, but I realized I still need quite a lot of work.