Friday, April 29, 2011

Should or want to?

I am contemplating becoming a part of the women's ministry at my new church.

I have complained about how there is no one my age at the church and that it's been hard to get connected. However, when approached about helping get a better women's ministry going, I've balked.

I went to a meeting yesterday, and I got so nervous I started pitting out - sorry for the graphic details. I am so not a leader, and they kept talking about each person on the ministry team stepping up and talking to a certain group of women, inviting them to events, taking charge of getting them together.

They also said as a part of the team, they want me to be at all the events.

I have a quandry. I am really a homebody. I enjoy spending time with my closest friends and with Nate. I would like to have other friends and know people at church, but it completely against my nature to put myself out there to meet those new people.

I also say I want to attend events, but then that will take my free time, which I love. Nate's schedule switches all the time, so what if those events take me away from him when he actually has the night off.

What if I don't want to be in charge of a group of women and seen as their leader in the church. I want to just blend in with the scenery, not stand out.

I like doing behind-the-scenes work. I would love to help with flyers and spreading the word about upcoming women's events. However, I don't like being held to the commitment to attend all of them.

Should I do this? Well, it would be putting my commitment where my mouth is and actually trying to improve something I wanted improved. Do I want to? Not really.

I don't know what to do. It would probably be good for me to get out there and do something like this, but then again, I never have so maybe I would hate it.

Pray for me. I'm supposed to let them know soon what I want to do. One of the women said, "We don't care if it's you. We just want someone."

I'm not sure that really inspired me to help out, since I'm not super desired, just my time. However, that may make it easier to say no if I have to.

Should I do what I should do? Or should I do what I'm comfortable with?

1 comment:

  1. Wow, Ki! Regardless of how this ends up, I think it's great that you're moving toward getting connected. I don't have any strong thoughts, but I think I would prayerfully think about what exactly you're uncomfortable with. If God's nudging you out of your comfort zone, you know you gotta do it. But if there are legitimate concerns about the group, then you know what to do, too. Keep us in the loop! Love you!