Winter blahs

White covers so much of the landscape right now that when I come inside, I can hardly see where I’m going.

My pupils shrink so much because of the daily brightness outdoors that it takes a few seconds before they grow large enough to see indoors.

The blinding whiteness is pale in comparison to some of the other annoyances with winter — frigid temperatures that I have to sit through while my car takes its sweet time warming up, piles of snow that I have to dodge or shovel away so I can simply pull out of my parking spot, slushy roads that make me apply the brakes twice as far away just so I can stop before stop signs.

It’s about this time that winter starts to get old for people in northwest Iowa.

The other day, it reached 30 degrees in Spirit Lake, and I thought, “Heat wave!”

Now, when did below freezing ever constitute a heat wave? Only at this time of the year when my body is so used to being cold that 30 degrees seems warm.

My mind is sick of even 30-degree weather though. Memories of Sunday evenings spent on the lakes last summer cloud my vision. Thoughts of warm days spent sunbathing make my goosebumps seem even more prominent. Dreams of shorts and halter tops fill my mind.

That’s months away though.

Winter is not so much unlike anything that we have to do day in and day out. During the summer months, I get excited to wear sweaters and cute boots. Washing the dinner dishes every day is a drag. Even watching the same TV show can get boring after a while.

We are built to enjoy special events. I was about to say we are built to enjoy change, but I don’t think many people would agree with that. We do look forward to something different every once in a while though — whether it is staying home after days away or days away after staying home for a long time.

Since spring is still a couple months off, I guess it is important to try to enjoy what weather we have now. I’m sure you’ve already done much of what winter has to offer — drinking hot chocolate, sledding, snowmobiling, ice skating. If you haven’t, I would encourage you to get out and enjoy some winter fun.

If you think you’ve already taken in what winter has to offer and don’t know what else to do, it’s time to start being creative. What can you do now that will pass the time but that you won’t want to do later?

Here are some of my ideas of how to pass the time when I’m bored:

1. Paint your walls, or a birdhouse if you want a smaller project.

2. Crochet a blanket.

3. Write encouragement letters to friends and family.

4. Break out the crayons and coloring books, no matter how old you are.

5. Use a computer program to doctor some photos with interesting effects and type.

6. Write a story or poem to give to someone you love.

7. Bake a treat to bring to work or to send with your kids to school.

8. Play a board game or do a puzzle with the family.

9. Play games online with a family member or friend — Trivial Pursuit is a fun one.

10. Make homemade gifts to stash away for special occasions, that way all you have to do is wrap them when the time comes.

Even if the weather outside is less than perfect, there is plenty of fun to be had in the winter. Just look around and see what you have that hasn’t been utilized in a long time.

And if you find stuff that you aren’t ever going to use again, do a little early spring cleaning and get rid of it. That way, when better weather hits, you won’t have anything keeping you inside.

Beautiful

When I step outside and look at the lake or the night sky, those are some of the moments I feel closest to God.

It's those moments that I really take a look around me and thank God for all the beauty that he has created in the world - beauty that proves he is real.

Although it's winter, the sun is shining today, brightening the inside of my apartment and making downtown come alive.

The blue sky is cloudless, a soft covering above a hard world.

Although the trees outside are without leaves and appear dead, I know that the wooden branches swaying in the breeze are just waiting for warmer weather to come alive.

The ice-covered lakes are white with snow, but beneath, waters still swish back and forth, teaming with underwater life.

The snow blanketing the grounds is more pure than anything else, untarnished as it falls from the sky in a color hard to replicate with anything else.

As I look around at the world as a whole, instead of concentrating on my own life, I again realize that I am small. The world is big.

Yet, in the grand scheme of creation, the world is small. The solar system is small. The galaxy is small.

Larger than space and time itself is God.

What he makes is beautiful and meticulous. God is beautiful.

But I don't want to

Last night, like many nights, I wrote down a list of chores I needed to do - fold laundry, do the supper dishes, vacuum, mop, dust. I don't have much time tonight, because I have to teach dance, so I wanted to get it all done last night before we have company in town this weekend.

I got into watching Lost on Netflix, and I put off my chores.

This is not a one-time occurrence. On nights when I don't really have anything to do, I write down a list of everything I could get done. When it gets down to it though, I often don't want to do it. So I don't.

I always feel guilty when I don't do my work, and I know there are verses in the Bible berating lazy people. A word to describe my work ethic might be lazy though.

I probably wouldn't feel guilty if I was doing something fun or productive, like spending time with friends. However, usually my work gets put off so I can watch TV or read or something like that.

If it were my kids, I would probably tell them to get their work done before they play. Yet, every night it seems like my work doesn't finish until it's time to go to sleep. I get done with work, exercise, make dinner, clean up and the day is shot.

I wonder when it's OK to put off work. I guess, it really doesn't matter that I didn't do the dishes last night - even though that means they are still waiting for me today. However, I was taught to get chores done right away instead of putting them off. That doesn't mean I want to do it, it just means I feel bad when I don't!

I think that happens a lot in society. We put off what needs to be done - volunteering, fundraising, discipline - because it's not fun. It's not what we want to do. I guess sometimes it's good to just relax, but I think maybe it would be easier to see work as fun instead of something I just dread doing. It might make it a little easier to get through the daily grind.

Take nothing with you

"Take nothing for the journey - no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra tunic." - Luke 9:3

I read this passage last night and was amazed at this command. I don't know about you, but when I pack for a trip I bring multiple pairs of shoes, pajamas, a few pairs of jeans, casual and nice outfits, extras in case I spill something - and that's just for a weekend away.

Jesus' disciples traveled around for years with him, and they didn't even know where they would get their next meal.

I wonder if they were scared. I wonder if they were worried that they didn't have a pack of supplies. I wonder if they felt guilty that they had to rely on others to take care of them. That's how I would feel if I weren't prepared for a trip.

But I'm not prepared now. I'm not prepared for where tomorrow will take me. I'm not prepared for what I have to give up to follow Christ every day. I do need others to take care of me, to support me through that journey. I guess that's how they felt.

However, when Christ commanded, they went. They had doubts and fears, but they went. That's a hard decision to make, and they did it in a split second, never looking back. I wonder what I would have done in their places. It's hard enough to follow now, what would it have been like then?

Different ways to care

It's the little everyday moments that show people you care.

Valentine's Day dinner, surprise parties, extravagant gifts -- these are all special ways to show your loved one how you feel.

However, I have found that these grand gestures don't always last. You start looking for other ways to see that you are loved and special.

That's where the little moments come in.

Put up a Post-It with an I Love You. Coordinate your schedules on a calendar so you know when your time together is. When you buy yourself something, bring something for your loved one as well. Bring back a souvenir from your trip.

None of it is expensive; some of it doesn't cost at all. Yet, these little things tell that you are thinking of each other even when separate. That means the world.

Extravagant gifts are special for a moment, and they can create a memory that will last a lifetime. It's the everyday gestures that make up a lifetime of love though.

The last thing I do

Sometimes what we do doesn't seem that important. So, this TV might be a little inappropriate, does that really matter?

The other day, I thought, if Jesus were to come back at this very moment, would he be OK with what I'm doing?

I know people have said you should gauge your actions on if you would do if Jesus were in the room with you. Honestly, that's harder for me to imagine. I'm never going to see Jesus sit down in a room with me.

However, we have no idea when Christ is going to come back for his people. It could possibly be in our lifetime, just like it could have been on any day in history and how it could be any day in the future.

So there is a possibility that whatever I am doing could be what I'm doing when Jesus shows up.

Will he be proud to take me with depending on what I'm doing at that moment, or will he shake his head in shame?

The right touch

Hugs, kisses, holding hands - touch is an important part of life.

I have always been a little restricted when it comes to touch. I'm not the one that reaches for the hug when I see someone usually, unless it's someone I'm really close to. I've only kissed one man. I don't like even dancing with a man unless it's a Nate, a close friend or relative.

I think touch is almost insignificant in our society. People throw themselves at others - hugging, kissing, cuddling, holding hands, dancing close. Sometimes these touches are innocent, but sometimes they are a a symbol of something more.

Touch is special. Touch links us to people. It shows our feelings in ways that words can't sometimes. However, people don't act like touch is any big deal.

To me, touches are special everyday moments. I think we should keep those kinds of expressions for the right people, so that we don't become accustomed to them. That way, those touches still stay special.

Aggravating to cherished

Nate has this certain sound that he makes - I wish I could record it for you to hear - that drives me nuts.

It sounds like "byou," in a really high-pitched tone. I can't even do it justice describing it in words.

He really likes to do it when playing video games. The sound has no purpose, but apparently it brings him some kind of satisfaction.

If he does it once, I just kind of cringe inside. If twice, I might make a face. More than that I usually put on a smile and ask him to stop. He probably doesn't even realize he does it most of the time.

I know others have the same situation. My mom can't stand my dad's snoring. My dad can't stand the sound of popping gum. Every couple has these little things they aggravate each other with.

I heard a story once about a woman that hated her husband's snoring. It would keep her up at night, and she would shove him to make him stop. However, after he passed away, she layed in bed, not able to sleep.

She realized that she could no longer sleep without his snoring.

It's amazing that something we find so aggravating can be something that truly is endearing us to the person we love.

So next time, instead of making that face, maybe we should just realize that someday we will miss that idiosyncracy when it's not around anymore. Take the time to tell the person you love them - which might distract them anyway - instead of telling them to stop aggravating you.

When I wake up...

On "Bones," after season five everyone left for jobs around the world. They were called back to help on a case that no one else could solve.

The group was perfect together, and their leader was angry that no one stayed together to do what it was supposed to.

They all left for selfish reasons, to do what they wanted. They weren't doing what they were meant to do.

I think we all tend to do that. We have dreams and goals that don't necessarily fulfill what we're supposed to do, what really makes a difference.

Often we live for selfish reasons, but what is our true purpose.

When I wake up, I usually think about what I have to do for the day. I think about how to get through the boring stuff to get to the free time so I can do what I want. I rarely ever wake up and ask myself what God wants me to do with my day, how he wants me to glorify him during the blessed hours he has chosen to bestow upon me.

I forget that life is not about me. Humans were created to glorify God in life.

People often ask why God created humans when he could have created anything. He had some purpose in mind.

We hear that God is a sculptor, but we can also think in general - God is an artist. Artists create works for fun, because they need to create. They have something inside of them that needs to come out.

God had a reason for creating us; he showed off his talents; he let out his creative expression by building us humans.

We should keep in mind that life is not about our creations but about what has already been created - us, what we were created for.

How would life change if we woke up thinking about God instead of ourselves?

Do as I say, not as I do

My mom really likes to read my blog. Just a few minutes ago, she asked me if I take all the advice that I give out on this.

Well, to be honest, not completely.

Everything I write here, I have thought about before. Much of what I suggest others do is what I need to do as well. That is why I always refer to "us" not "you."

That's probably a problem that most of us have. I mean, the saying, "Do as I say, not as I do," is a common one.

Parents struggle with telling their children what to do when they don't act right themselves. Christians struggle with helping people overcome sin when they have sin in their own lives. I am the same way. I have plenty of ways I could fix my life. However, I'm always a work in progress.

However, everything I write are ways that I want to make my own life better. Some of them I have put into practice and can vouch for. Some of them are in the Bible, and God can vouch for how well it works. Some I just think are good ideas.

So I'm not the perfect example.

As I still work on my own life, the best bet is to do as Jesus says, not as I do.

What would you give up to get what you want?

few months ago we were assigned a newspaper section for senior citizens on jobs people held that aren’t common anymore - milkmen, typesetters, grocery delivermen, etc.

After calling around to different nursing homes and assisted living centers in the area, I found a man named Jack Van Es, who used to own a small grocery and would deliver his goods to people in the region.

I called and talked to him, setting up an interview.

After talking with the man, I thought it seemed like he could use a friend who cared about him, so I offered him my e-mail address.

Here it is, going on a year later, and Jack and I are still e-mail pals.

I have really enjoyed talking with this man a few times a week. He has great stories and insights and offers plenty of compliments. It’s nice to be able to take a few minutes and tell someone about your life and to read about theirs.

Recently, Jack and I chatted about the horrible winter weather driving conditions we have traveled through just to get home, to get to a loved one.

I have battled roads that were solid sheets of ice, drifts of snow, white-out conditions to reach home on a college break or to visit my boyfriend when we didn’t live in the same town. I can’t remember a time when I said, “I can’t come. The weather is too bad.”

However, Jack said that often we overlook the dangers in something just to get where we want to go. We don’t realize until afterward that the decision was probably not a good one.

I thought that was an interesting comment. How often in life do we do that? How often do we make concessions to get where we want to go without taking the dangers into account?

This ideal can go beyond driving in bad weather - where you could give up your life trying to see someone. It could apply to giving up family time trying to get a promotion and so much more.

What decisions are you making that are getting where you want to go at any cost?

Much of the time we think of our desired end result without taking into consideration what could happen if we didn’t get what we wanted.

While driving through the snow, I have seen plenty of cars in ditches. However, I have never had a serious incident. Sometimes I act like I am invincible, when I should be acting with care and caution.

What about you?

Deeper than most

I was talking to my best friend on the phone last night, and we started to talk about friendship.

We haven't seen each other for a month, not since she got married. Since she graduated from college in May, and we live two hours apart, we've probably only seen each other five times. We talk on the phone probably an average of once a week.

However, I still see her as my closest friend.

We have three other close friends in our group, a group that is spread all throughout the Midwest. Yet, somehow we all stay close.

It's like heartstrings hold us together, even when we are busy with our own lives.

We all have different friends, and we all have separate lives. Three are married; one is engaged.

However, something holds us together.

My friend suggested that we are so connected because of the spiritual connection we have together.

In college, we shared a lot of intimate moments and hard times. We bonded not only emotionally but spiritually. It was obvious that God brought us all together - all of us with different goals and strengths and weaknesses. Yet, together we all seem whole.

My friend said that she thinks we see these relationships as deeper than others, because we have such a spiritual connection keeping us together. We bonded on more than one level, a way that many friends don't experience.

I have faith that through life, these women will always be my friends. Whether we move away, have children or get busy with life, there are heartstrings - God strings - holding us all together.

And that makes all the difference.

The white handprint

In "The Lord of the Rings," some hideous, mean creatures are called orcs. They have a white hand-print on their faces that shows they are the property of their master and creator, whose work they are to fulfill.

These creatures were created for death, destruction and evil.

However, we also have the imprint of our maker on us. It isn't as obvious as a white handprint on the face of a Christian - it should be though.

We all have a purpose. We have a reason for being. God created us specifically for his works. He put an imprint on us to show that we should stand apart from others in our society.

Are we fulfilling that destiny?

There is such a pull on our lives. I want to stand out, as someone who is kind and gracious. I used to stand out much more than I do now. At a point in my life I thought that perhaps I would be happier and better at reaching people if I didn't stand out so much. If I acted more like everyone else, people would like me more and I would have an opening to reach them.

I ended up acting like everyone else, and I made a lot of friends. People have told me over and over how much more fun I am now. However, some of my decisions I am not proud of. Some of my decisions have left me feeling distant from God. That imprint is still on my head, but sometimes I go rogue.

Let's remember that we are made to be set apart. We bear a special mark from our master and creator. He has a special purpose for us.

And hopefully if we fulfill that purpose, we won't turn out quite as ugly as the orcs.

Peace on earth

"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests," Luke 2:29.

The notes on my Bible say, "Peace is not assured to all, but only to those pleasing to God."

I had only thought that the passage wished peace on earth. I thought it was interesting to notice that peace was only wished to the people who are pleasing to God.

I think peace is underestimated in our society. We talk about peace, as in the opposite of war. However, we tend to overlook inner peace.

When making decisions, people are often told to go with their gut or follow their heart. I think what we really should think about is peace. Whether the situations in our life are easy or difficult, peace is what we should strive for.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understand, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus," Philippians 4:6-7.

This is one my favorite verses about peace. It doesn't matter what we go through, when we do what is right we have peace. To me, there is nothing better than that sense of contentment and calm inside when God gives me peace amidst all circumstances.

I think we need to stop following our heart, and start leading it. Look for peace, because we don't need anything else.

What could life be like?

How many blessings do we miss out on following our own way?

After my friend's wedding, my parents and I were holding our own church service in our hotel room before heading back home. We discussed a New Testament package talking about what Esau missed out in his life when he gave up his birthright.

I have also read pieces by Joyce Meyer about how we often wish things were different and ask God to bless us in areas that we don't deserve blessings in.

I want work to go easily and to be successful, however, am I really putting forth all the effort I should be? Am I stealing five minutes on my schedule here and there?

God isn't going to bless us in areas where we aren't right with him. It's like rewarding your kids when they do something wrong. If your kids are doing well at school, sure, let them put off homework for an hour while they watch their favorite show on TV. However, if they're breaking curfew, you're not going to let them stay out another two hours to go to a late movie.

God is the same way. I don't think sinning means that we aren't going to receive blessings. Like Esau, we have a special birthright. We are children of God. With that comes special privileges, and God will bless us. However, if we intentionally do wrong, we are going to miss out on our birthright, our special privileges, our blessings.

What in your life is standing in your way? The blessings that we want might not be what God wants to give us, but we also might be missing out on what God wants to give us, because we are doing what we want.

It's something to think about.

Brad is back

Well, so far on The Bachelor this season Brad has kissed...1,2,3,4,5...like 10 women. It's only been on for two weeks.

I enjoy watching The Bachelor. It's funny when the girls thank Brad for his dates, because you know he doesn't plan them. It's funny when the girls say they are falling in love after only one date. It's funny that girls start getting dramatic and fighting after a whopping 10 minutes - granted that's probably the most realistic part of the show.

They call them guilty pleasures. Who calls them that? I don't know. But I know what it means. I do feel guilty sometimes that I am watching something so ridiculous. There's probably a whole lot of things I could be doing with my time - doing the dishes, washing the laundry I keep putting off, editing the book I took home, working out.

It's fun though. Brad is a brand new man, or so he keeps saying. There's not going to be the drama of the last season he was on, when he left two girls at the finale. Yeah, right.

But it's the happy ending you hope for. Guilty pleasures seem to be a search for happiness. I hope that the people on this show really do find love amidst the drama.

I guess it's OK to have some guilty pleasures once in a while.

Taking time

I sit here now, breathing.

The clock is ticking; the kitchen sink is dripping; the cars outside are floating past; the keys are clicking beneath my fingers. The refrigerator just switched on.

That is all that's going on.

I had the night off work last night, and I wondered what I was going to do with the free time. I have had so many full days and nights in these past two months. Every moment I didn't have planned seemed like it was taken up with cleaning or getting ready for the planned events - Thanksgiving, trips to Omaha and South Dakota, Christmases. It was the season of busyness.

However, this weekend, nothing was scheduled. I was almost nervous, hardly remembering how to spend time when I didn't have anything on my schedule. I felt uncomfortable last night trying to relax by myself.

Today, I woke up without an alarm. I stayed in bed and read part of the last book in the Katie Weldon series by Robin Jones Gunn, a continuation from one of my favorite series' about Christy Miller. I drank some coffee while watching TV. I took some time to pamper myself. I walked to Fareway to fulfill my ice cream craving. I finished my book.

I breathed.

Goodness, I had forgotten how good it feels to just be. How good it feels to remember who you are and who God is. How good life is by itself without incessant schedules pushing on me all the time.

I was stressed out. Even work wasn't satisfying, because I just wanted to have a clear schedule and it never offered me that option.

This weekend has been exactly what I needed - a time to clear my head, to relax, to put off the laundry and the dishes because I have more time tomorrow. Oh how wonderful it is just to sit down and not worry about getting everything done, to see the list on the counter and to just ignore it.

Thank you Lord for life. Thank you for moments of revitalizing peace. Thank you for the people around me who I love. Thank you for you.

Remembering the living

"When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so that they might go to annoint Jesus' body," Mark 16:1.

I read this verse last night and thought it was interesting. Jesus had already been dead for three days, so why were they going to put spices on the body now? Was that usual to embalm a body?

The notes in my Bible said that it was unusual for Jews to embalm bodies, but that this was a sign of great honor and adoration.

We still do that with out loved ones. We don't actually go and annoint the deceased bodies, but cemeteries are full of flowers, plaques and wreaths that tell that we still remember who lies there.

I started thinking about why we do this. Why do we have to keep up grave sites? I don't know of anyone who thinks that a person actually remains in the ground and can see or hear you after they die. Even for people who aren't Christians, people realize that once people die they are gone.

However, we still feel like we need to honor the people we loved with flowers and visits. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It probably means the most to us, giving us a feeling that we are still connected to the people we loved who are no longer with us.

I see a lot of flowers on grave sites, but how many flowers are there in homes? How often do we go visit our loved ones who are still with us, not on a holiday?

It's wonderful to remember our loved ones who have deceased. I think we need to remember the ones who are still right in front of us as well.

A quarter for your thoughts

Several years ago, a preacher from out-of-state accepted a call to a church in Houston , Texas . Some weeks after he arrived, he had an occasion to ride the bus from his home to the downtown area. When he sat down, he discovered that the driver had accidentally given him a quarter too much change.. As he considered what to do, he thought to himself, 'You'd better give the quarter back. It would be wrong to keep it.' Then he thought, 'Oh, forget it, it's only a quarter. Who would worry about this little amount? Anyway, the bus company gets too much fare; they will never miss it. Accept it as a 'gift from God' and keep quiet.' When his stop came, he paused momentarily at the door, and then he handed the quarter to the driver and said, 'Here, you gave me too much change ..' The driver, with a smile, replied, 'Aren't you the new preacher in town?'

'Yes' he replied.

'Well, I have been thinking a lot lately about going somewhere to worship. I just wanted to see what you would do if I gave you too much change. I'll see you at church on Sunday.'

When the preacher stepped off of the bus, he literally grabbed the nearest light pole, held on, and said, 'Oh God, I almost sold your Son for a quarter.'

I'm not sure I really need to expound upon this story. People are watching us whether we think about it or not. I admit that I don't always want people comparing my actions to me being a Christian. I would say that a majority of the time they don't match up.

I think this is a story we should all keep in mind though.

Turning up with things go down

I have a really bad habit.

I mean eternally bad.

I have a deep desire to be a good Christian woman. I want to follow God and be on fire for him. However, when things are going good in my life I tend to overlook God. I'm going to be really open here - it's like I don't need God when I have life under control.

Now, I know that's not true, but that is how I tend to act.

However, the moment situations in my life get tough, stressful, frustrating or scary, I run back to God. Help me! Help me!

I always apologize that I have been overlooking him, but I still expect him to answer my prayers when I really need help.

I wonder what God thinks of that.

I was thinking today while I was driving back from an interview about how much time and effort a relationship takes. Nate and I have to spend time together, cuddle, talk to have a happy, stable relationship. That's how my relationship with God should be. I should get excited to think about the time I have to spend with him. I should want to talk or just sit silently in his presence.

However, I often don't want that.

I want to watch TV. I want to read a book. I want to go out with friends. I don't want to sit down and read my Bible and pray.

Sometimes I wonder if bad things will happen to me just so God can get my attention and make me come begging him for help. I hope that doesn't happen, and I hope that I don't start getting better at spending time with him just so I can avoid bad things happening in my life.

I have just one prayer. Lord, help me find my fire again.

Saying good-bye

Saying good-bye stinks.

It used to stink a whole lot worse.

When Nate and I had a long-distance relationship, a lovely four years worth, we had to say good-bye a lot. When he was in Cedar Falls and I was in Orange City, I remember tears streaming down my face whenever I would drive home from visiting him. It was an awful moment when you last put your arms around each other or kiss each other. It's like you're missing part of yourself.

It's never fun to say good-bye.

I have friends who have loved ones gone to war, a horrible good-bye I am sure. I've had people I know lose loved ones recently; I lost my aunt in May.

Whether it's for a short time or a long time, good-bye is not easy.

So let's start treasuring the hellos.

Instead of picking on the little moments that frustrate us when we're together - he left his plate by the couch, she nags me while I watch TV - enjoy the time you have together.

God has blessed us with each other, with people whom we love and people who love us. He has blessed us with time on this Earth. Instead of complaining and nit-picking I think we need to realize time is short, and people are important.

Cherish the time you have together. So when you do have to say good-bye, you know that the time you had together was well spent.

Is that bad?

Sometimes when I reveal something I am thinking or something I tend to do I say, “Is that bad?”

I’m not sure why I need often-approval, not constant approval, about my thoughts, statements or actions. Some of the things I do probably are bad, or bad for me. However, which things are bad for me and which are just me?

I chew my fingernails when I get nervous or stressed. Is that bad?

I am a bad orderer at restaurants. Is that bad?

I snort sometimes when I laugh. Is that bad?

I have to make a list or write down everything I need to do. Is that bad?

I quote The O.C. even when the people I’m talking to don’t know the quote. Is that bad?

I have to plan ahead, sometimes doing twice the work, to make sure everything will work out. Is that bad?

I don’t like to spend money. Is that bad?

I have passed gas in front of a lot of people. Is that bad?

I make faces and sound effects with a majority of my actions and stories. Is that bad?

I have a natural reaction to karate chop instead of punch. Is that bad?

I don’t enjoy working out, unless it’s dancing. Is that bad?

I arch my back every time I comb my hair. Is that bad?

I am a writer that often can’t think of the word I’m trying to say. Is that bad?

I have to ask other people if what I’m doing is bad. Is that bad?